Sexual trauma; the broken state of one’s mind, after the body is forced against their consent, into a sexual act. Preying on your vulnerability, the ones who were supposed to nurture and protect you, have done the worst of evils. The original virtues of the soul; innocence, love, and trust are lost.
A lot of times, as victims grow up, they learn to suppress these bitter emotions and memories, and as a defense mechanism, the mind tries to create an alternate reality. But they are never truly suppressed. A little trigger for those memories and they are thrown back into their grieving phase.
They eventually fall into anxiety, depression, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Failed relationships are very common with adults living with sexual trauma.
As a Shaman, I have guided many victims of sexual trauma, with some suffering from its adverse aftereffects, on the path to healing for the soul; restoring the lost virtues and bringing newfound meaning into their lives.
In the rest of this article, we take a look at psilocybin mushrooms, and how they are the answer to treatment from sexual trauma and its aftereffects.
Sexual Trauma healing Soul
On the Mind and Soul
Many victims of rape, were assaulted as children; in their most vulnerable state. A lot of times, the perpetrators are family members and friends. The very ones who were supposed to care for and protect you, have done the exact opposite.
The soul comes under extreme distress. But the soul cannot be corrupted. So, it fragments in a desperate attempt to absorb the emotional impact. It disperses to protect you and loses its form; hence the sudden feeling of emptiness. This emptiness leads to behaviors to cope such as alcohol, drugs, sex, and food addictions.
The mind goes into its natural defense mode. To prevent such an occurrence from recurring, your formerly vulnerable and innocent disposition is suppressed and replaced, with an ‘always on guard’, egotistical state of mind.
As you suppress your former self; the real you, a second personality takes over. One who is always cautious and never trusting. The mind tries to create an alternate reality and keeps you far from situations that seem to pose a threat.
Whenever you try to think back in time or are about to trust someone, your mind brings up the pain of the past. As a learned behavior, your ego kicks in and you suppress them once more.
You lose the ability to trust and commit to people.
On the Body
The body remembers via cellular muscle memory, all that’s happened to it. The aftereffects of sexual trauma can follow the individual far into their adult life. As triggers manifest, all your senses suddenly bring back those memories. These can be subtle triggers like sounds, smells, and colors, to more direct triggers like sexual encounters with a partner.
Effects of sexual trauma can occur, even if the victim was too young to form any conscious memory of the assault. The subconscious, however, remembers. Déjà vu brings these hurtful memories to life, and victims can often be left confused, as they don’t understand the source of this distress.
Contact with their partners usually triggers their minds to create flashbacks as though it were happening in the present. Victims are not able to feel the pleasure they are meant to, and their partners are often left frustrated; leading to failed relationships.
This negative energy feeds off your natural life force and becomes evident as stress, PTSD, and illness.
Psilocybin Ceremony -Healing From Trauma
Psilocybin containing mushrooms, also known as ‘magic mushrooms’, have long been used by Shamans to treat trauma, its effects, and other psychological disorders.
The use of these mushrooms seeks to uncover these repressed or subconscious emotions and memories and help you face them.
The soul needs to know that it is safe to be vulnerable; to be trusting once again; to be innocent; and to express suppressed feelings, before it can gather to take form. This can happen naturally without a psilocybin experience, if the victim has been under constant care and support; for example, from an understanding partner, parents, or a therapist.
However, the psilocybin ceremony can help speed up the process.
As stated above, many of the repressed emotions associated with sexual trauma happened during childhood and do not have a logical or tangible memory attached to them. So if you try to think back consciously, you may not remember anything. Hence, many failed therapy sessions. But they are there in the subconscious, and their effects emerge without conscious effort.
Accustomed to the dark, the damaged, often neglected and rejected side of us has taken on the form of a shadow. It is that part, we don’t want people or society to see. It is a direct manifestation of your mind masking your vulnerability and innocence.
Psilocybin mushrooms stimulate the subconscious and take you directly to the source of your suppressed or latent emotions. Many sexual trauma patients report seeing their lives played before their eyes and brought to a point of deep understanding, as to why they are in such distress.
It takes you to a transcended state of hyper-memory and helps you uncover things consciously unknown to even you.
Sexual trauma flashbacks are usually attached to physical triggers. For example, if a victim was assaulted in say a bathroom or a closet, they are constantly reminded by similar physical spaces, and usually grow up with phobias attached to them.
One sexual trauma victim narrates her psilocybin ceremony:
She had been assaulted twice as a kid, and that robbed her of her ability to enjoy doing fun things. A once-happy child, her mind forced her to become an introvert; if she avoided people, the likelihood of a recurrence will be reduced. As she grew up into an adult, the phobia of constricted spaces had grown with her; she had been abused in a closet by a family member.
Her trip on psilocybin mushrooms took her to a transcended state of consciousness and she was carried back in time to the incident. She could see herself as she was being assaulted, and all her repressed emotions were unraveled.
She is then taken through all the experiences that follow in her life and is made to see how the emotions and emptiness, are just effects of her mind and soul trying to protect her.
After this, an unexplained peace that was so evident even to her therapist came over her. She and her partner enjoyed for the first time, a healthy sexual relationship with complete surrender to the pleasure that had once been hindered.
In the above example, the power of these suppressed emotions over her was lost, as her subconscious, had now been brought to the conscious. Her ‘adult’ ability to accept, forgive, and move forward could now spring into action and the mind could now begin healing itself.
By suppressing the shadow, we have to come up with new behaviors to ensure it stays in check and these behaviors are often dangerous; counterproductive to the natural virtues of the soul.
Confronting the soul loss by surrendering. Instead of rejecting it, we embrace it. We are the shadow; the shadow is us; we are one. Instead of suppressing it, we bring it out and let the energy flow through.
The psilocybin mushrooms are not going to determine the extent of your surrender; that is your job. Instead, they are there to take you to a transcended state of openness of mind and consciousness.
The psilocybin ceremony frees you from your natural perception and creates a safe haven for emotional expression; a condition that must be met before your soul can return and gather once again, to take form.
The Role of the Ego
Your ego is the assumed state, your mind uses as a defense mechanism. It is the mask for your vulnerability and helps protect you from sexual predators, and from prying eyes of the society. It also wants to prevent you from uncovering those repressed emotions and ‘keep you safe’.
But it is robbing you of the virtues your soul brings and is the breeding ground for negative energy.
The dissolution of the ego is one of the most important effects of psilocybin. The chemical assures the ego that you are now safe, by providing a safe container in which you can express those emotions.
This step is not going to be easy, and the physical container where you do your ceremony (where you do your ceremony) will go a long way to determine the extent of your ego dissolution. Being in the company of people you love and trust, is usually a great help.
Upon the dissolution of the ego, you are brought to the realization that being weak, vulnerable, sad, and lonely are all healthy states. It then opens you to experience these repressed emotions and let them flow through you freely, ultimately bringing healing and acceptance.
The Integration Phase
Sitting with psilocybin for the first time, as a sexual assault victim is likely going to be very emotionally but will connect you to the Universe and the God of your understanding. Pleasurable experiences are common, but it’s likely you will be taken to your traumatic events. Years of repressed emotions and truths you refused to face, will emerge.
These are, however, the needed emotional boosts to kick-start your healing process. Phobias and triggers will gradually will lose their effect on the mind.
The ability to trust and be vulnerable, and depend on people without the fear of judgment will gradually be restored to you, as your soul collects. The ego will still be there, but will now be put to proper use as an healthy expression of self-respect and esteem.
It is advised you seek the help of shaman for your shamanic healing, if you want to try psilocybin mushrooms as a first experience , for you emotional healing. Their experience will prove vital in helping you come to terms with emotions and aiding your soul retrieval.